Hello? Is this thing on?

Don’t you hate when you are following someone’s blog and they disappear for a week?  On Sunday, I went to the walk-in clinic…STREP THROAT.  Because I haven’t been through enough in the past 2 months, lets throw a contagious disease on top of it.  Needless to say, I was unimpressed about the idea of being completely isolated for three days until I was no longer contagious and even less impressed with the fact that I couldn’t go to work.  So no blogging for me – I’m sorry

I missed a very important job fair that I was leading from my office 😦

Now I am back though so here is what has happened while I was gone:

I have had a few more ultrasounds – everything still looks good!  I have one more to confirm ovulation is happening this weekend and then after my next period I prepare for insemination!  HOLY CRAP!  Ya, I am so excited I could cry.  I have wanted this, my dad had wanted this, for so long now I just don’t know how to contain my enthusiasm. 

I have narrowed my donor choices down to three and will be confirming by the end of day today which one I will be using.  Did you know how many choices there are??  I mean seriously hundreds of options.  I’m almost relieved I am CMV negative because that narrows my choices.  The fact I want tall, caucasian with dark features narrows it down to about thirty and then taking things out like a cleft chin, not having only male offspring, not being an OPEN ID donor, and not someone with a history of diabetes (my father and paternal grandfather died of diabetes related issues) makes my choices even slimmer!  So now I will look at my few choices left and look at other things (hobbies?) to determine which donor I will choose.  I’ll let you know all about this amazing man as soon has I have details!

I have decided to only go with OPEN ID donors.  That way when my child turns 18 they have the choice of trying to find out more information and even possibly meeting the donor.  I am pro-choice in everything I do.  I want my child to have choices.  If they want to meet the man who made their mother happier then she ever dreamed possible – then he/she will have that CHOICE. 

I also saw a social worker yesterday – all part of this process.  She wasn’t there to judge or decide if I would be a good mom or not, but I am pretty sure after our 90 minute conversation she has realized what my friends and some members of my family have realized – I am a mom, I was born to be a mom.  I will give everything and do everything for this child, my child to be happy and successful in their own way! 

Having gone through ultrasounds and blood tests and a sono and all the other small things that need to be done in this process has been exhausting, but if/when the doctor tells me I am pregnant, every second, every cramp, every dollar will have been more than worth it.  It’s so close now.  I am so close.  Doing it alone wasn’t the way I had planned, at the very least I had hoped my dad would be available to tell every detail to, but I will settle for you, my readers, I enjoy each and every one of your comments, words of support and “likes”.  Thank you so much, truly, for sharing in this journey with me.

Love

Nicole

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One thought on “Hello? Is this thing on?

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