I’ve already had a spazz moment…

On Friday, Simba was neutered.  The humane society didn’t put a cone on him so I had to buy the cone and (try) to put it on.  Let me tell you, this dog, as drowsy as he was, was not having any of it.  I tried for 20 minutes to put the cone on him so he would stop sniffing and licking his stitches and he freaked out, jumped around and growled at me.  Getting the cone on was an impossible task. 

It was during this time that I realized the next day would be the 21st – two months since my father, my best friend, my hero, passed away.  I don’t know if it was because of that or because my period is due any day now, but I broke down.  I sat on the floor in my hallway crying like a baby.  Simba licked at my tears but still wouldn’t let me put the cone on.  I yelled at him, I said nothing to him and I stared at him with the most pathetic look and he looked back at me as if to say “I’m sorry you are crying, but that cone isn’t touching me”.

I did the only thing I knew to do.  I called Erin.  Erin is the one who gave me Simba and takes care of him for me when I need her to.  She is amazing and someone whom I depend on quite a bit.  She came over.  As soon as I saw her I started crying again.  Am I really such a horrible mother that I need my friend to drive 20 minutes to come help me cone my dog??  If that’s true what will happen when I have an actual baby and they don’t want to eat or get dressed or go to school???  I started to spazz and cried all over her beautiful sweater.

By the time she got me and Simba inside she pulled Simba into the bedroom sat him down and within 2 seconds the cone was on and attached.

At this point, I wanted to throw Simba out the window!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME I FOUGHT YOU FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR AND WITH ERIN YOU SIT PERFECTLY LIKE YOU ARE A FUCKING SWEETHEART!!!???

I cried some more.

Erin hugged me and told me to relax, that it was fine.  She had no problem coming over.  I know she didn’t, but still…it wasn’t right.  This dog is in huge trouble.  I have called him an asshole ever since while lovingly petting him because I get it – he had his little balls chopped off and that’s dramatic – but really Erin was the one who took him, he should hate her not me!!!

I am trying not to worry about me as a single mom, being alone, trying to figure it all out.  Women and men do it every day, alone, with no help.  I’ll figure it out.  My main worry is my child and my dog will gang up on me and outwit me on a daily basis.  I need to become smarter and sneakier if I am going to survive!

Love

Nicole

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2 thoughts on “I’ve already had a spazz moment…

  1. YOU are perfectly normal. Your Dad’s passing is still very raw and will be for some time. Your period is due and you are full of hormones – nothing like the hormones you will experience during pregnancy and after – but still hormones. Simba FRUSTRATED you, something your child will do a 1,000 times over. You will get used to all of it and learn and cope as you go because you are awesome, smart, sweet (sometimes) loving, and kind. Stop being so hard on yourself!!! Hugs!!

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