I won’t be “doing it all”

There are some things that are going to become increasingly difficult when I am a single mom.  Things that once I go back to work and have to balance my professional life with my personal one are going to have to change.

My whole life, the one chore I always hated, yet always had been responsible for was doing the grocery shopping.  I hate this chore – I hate trying to figure out if fruit and veggies are ripe.  I don’t like being disappointed when the item on sale is out of stock, or when the chicken breasts I wanted look pitiful.  There are so many things I don’t like about grocery shopping: when the cart stops working halfway through your shop, when parents bring their whole families and the kids are screaming or running around, when the stock boys have monopolized an aisle and you can’t get your cart around them and when the lineups are so long yet you see two check out girls gossiping and giggling at customer service.

After my dad passed I had to figure out the impossible – how to shop for just one person!  It’s a daunting task.  I enjoy shopping even less now.  Knowing half a loaf of bread will go to waste, yet buying it anyway cause peanut butter and honey sandwiches have become a source of comfort, is frustrating. 

The other day, as I was lying in bed petting Simba after his neutering surgery, I realized I was running out of groceries, at least groceries that weren’t stale, moldy or way past expiration.  I went upstairs and cleaned out the fridge.  I was left with condiments, milk, wet dog food and a cucumber.  I looked down at Simba and realized, I didn’t have to leave him to go fill up my fridge, I could order groceries and have them delivered!

Was I being lazy? Yes! Was I using my dog as an excuse to be lazy?  Yes! However, I had wanted to order from Grocerygateway.com for a long time, since before my dads passing.  So I went online and checked it out.

There is a $10 delivery fee, I debated the fee versus my time, gas and energy on doing it myself and realized it was 100% worth it for this week!

I filled out my virtual shopping cart and checked out with a delivery time for yesterday between 5:30-7:30 pm!  They deliver at night!!  This was getting better and better.

Last night when I came home from work, I anxiously was doubting myself.  Would the fruit be fresh?  Would I be waiting forever for this delivery? 

At 5:40 I got a phone call.  They were five minutes away!!  He brought in my groceries, I signed and he left.  My raspberries were sweet and delicious, the grapes green and fresh.  My bread had a 6 day expiry which is okay with me!  Overall, I am extremely satisfied!

Will I continue to have my groceries delivered?  No, not every week, they don’t deliver my brand of dog food, so I have to go to Metro for some things, but when I am pregnant, or carrying around an infant, or sick or tired or busy being an amazing mom to an amazing kid you’re damned right I will use them again! 

Why do I need to feel like because I am “choosing” to be a single mom, I need to do it all and be great at it all??  I don’t.  Not any more.  I am becoming realistic.  Being a single mom will be the best and hardest thing I have ever done and I am going to start demanding less from myself and more from others.  I like this idea.  I have been way to hard on myself lately.  My little Koko bean deserves a happy, healthy mom and that’s what I am going to give them!

Love

Nicole

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2 thoughts on “I won’t be “doing it all”

  1. So happy you are finally realizing that you will not have to do it all – actually no one does, you just do what works best for you (and KOKO BEAN – love that name)!!!!

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