This morning I completed my second round of acupuncture and I realized a few things:
- My skin has a bad reaction to everything. I have a small rash on my wrists that makes me look like a cutter from the pins that were pushed into them. My toes are still a bit itchy from where the two small needles jutted out. I really hope Koko Bean gets her biological father’s skin and I hope for Koko Beans sake that his skin is better than mine.
- My brain Never. Shuts. Up. Seriously. I get 25 minutes of peace and quiet, in a darkened room, no dog, no colleagues, no family, no phones, lying on a bed and instead of being able to focus on my breathing I am thinking of my blog, of Koko Bean, of work, of Simba, of my mom, of Tammy’s upcoming birthday dinner, of the books I am waiting to arrive from Chapters and of pretty much every other thing BUT relaxing. Trust me, every time my thoughts would drift I would shift it back to my breathing, but within ten seconds I am back thinking of something else. I need help.
- I have no shame. When I was young and first started getting pap smears and yearly physical’s from doctors I would shave my legs, put on nice smelling lotion and have a fresh pedicure or at least have my toe nails with no polish and clean. As an adult (young adult…lol) I don’t care. I have seen my acupuncturist twice and both times my legs were hairy and my pedicure is in desperate need for some attention! Listen, I don’t have a man in my life and summer is over so shaving my legs becomes an afterthought. I do shave my legs in the fall and winter-but like twice a week and this week has been so busy I have only done it once – boohoo, sue me. My naturopath is fine with it. I am fine with it. I’ll shave tonight – or tomorrow. Maybe.
I love Dr. B. She is great and so warm and welcoming. Like Dr. G, the doctor taking care of insemination at First Steps, she has made this whole experience a great one. I feel important, not like a number. Granted I am paying an arm and a leg for this process, so I should be treated well, but no one I have dealt with so far makes me feel like they are just happy about my money. They genuinely seem happy for me. If at the end of all this, the poking, the prodding, the tests, the blood samples, the cash transactions, I have a beautiful little Koko Bean, it will be ALL worth it. I cannot wait to share with you all this journey, our journey – mine and Koko Beans.