This whole month I have been sick and stressed with work and I was pretty sure when I was inseminated a couple of weeks ago that my body would be rejecting anything else foreign that tried to enter my body. But I figured since I was ovulating I might as well try!
Well on Wednesday I got the news…I am not pregnant.
I’ll that soak in…I AM NOT PREGNANT
I’m okay with it. Truly I am. I didn’t have preconceived notions that I was or that it would take the first try…in fact I am pretty sure some of my friends and some of my family are more disappointed than I am. They were worried about me, which is so sweet, but really, surprisingly, I’m not upset or even that disappointed. I never for one moment thought “hey I could be pregnant this month” I was too sick. I felt awful the entire week of my insemination.
I think I am going to do this month completely confidentially. That way there will be no disappointment – only pure happiness on my part and then on everyone’s part if I get to say to the world
However for now, I am not – and I am going to drink wine. I am going to relax and enjoy my life the way it is because once pregnant I get to learn how to enjoy a whole new life but it will never be the way it is now – just me and Simba – so I am not going to cry about this, I am not going to stress or wish it was different. That doesn’t change reality – my reality is tough, ever-changing and sometimes amazing, and it’s mine.