I’m positive it was a negative

This whole month I have been sick and stressed with work and I was pretty sure when I was inseminated a couple of weeks ago that my body would be rejecting anything else foreign that tried to enter my body.  But I figured since I was ovulating I might as well try!

Well on Wednesday I got the news…I am not pregnant. 

I’ll that soak in…I AM NOT PREGNANT

I’m okay with it.  Truly I am.  I didn’t have preconceived notions that I was or that it would take the first try…in fact I am pretty sure some of my friends and some of my family are more disappointed than I am.  They were worried about me, which is so sweet, but really, surprisingly, I’m not upset or even that disappointed.  I never for one moment thought “hey I could be pregnant this month”  I was too sick.  I felt awful the entire week of my insemination.

  I think I am going to do this month completely confidentially.  That way there will be no disappointment – only pure happiness on my part and then on everyone’s part if I get to say to the world

I’M PREGNANT!

However for now, I am not – and I am going to drink wine.  I am going to relax and enjoy my life the way it is because once pregnant I get to learn how to enjoy a whole new life but it will never be the way it is now – just me and Simba – so I am not going to cry about this, I am not going to stress or wish it was different.  That doesn’t change reality – my reality is tough, ever-changing and sometimes amazing, and it’s mine. 

Love

Nicole

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3 thoughts on “I’m positive it was a negative

  1. I like your attitude honey! Keeping it confidential is wise until you know for sure and can share the good news. Besides, don’t you know that the only people that get pregnant the first time they have unprotected sex are teenagers!!! Stay positive – love ya – will have a tropical cocktail (or 2) while floating around the swim up bar next week!

  2. I love your attitude too! Good for you. And what you said in your last paragraph, you’re exactly right! I wish i was more at peace with the whole process, I can’t seem to NOT get my hopes up each and every month!

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