I’m not all that excited for Halloween


As a little girl, my mother would make my older brother and I costumes, little devil outfits that fit over my snow suit, a boxed robot covered in tin foil for my brother.  Clearly my mother had her opinions of us, but since these were easy for her to make, we accepted it and happily went about getting our candy with our neighbourhood friends.  My father was always the one who would take us out, patiently waiting at the bottom of the driveway for us while we ran up screaming the typical   

Trick or Treat!!!!!

Every house on my street gave out candy except for the creepy guy who put his large, mean dogs out in the backyard as school was getting out and we littles had to pass  to get home.  Facing reality, I NEVER would have gone up to his door anyway and knocked, fearing he would have handed out poisoned apples, but still I felt this was incredibly rude to my four-year old self who was as cute as a button and really just wanted to show up my bright red devils horns along with my long devil tail.

Growing up, I don’t remember dressing up as much.  I cared more about parties and hanging with my friends rather than dressing up to get chocolate and candy.  After I stopped going out, we became that mean house on the street that didn’t had out candy – however the neighbourhood also started to change.  The kids I hung out with were too old to be cute trick or treaters and a lot of the new kids that moved into the neighbourhood didn’t celebrate Halloween and therefore rarely dressed up – sometimes donning a mask or a cape – but just wanting free candy.  We weren’t okay with that. 

I hear you're going as the total dickbag who doesn't dress up

Now as an adult, I hand out candy, to kids, who dress up, who say trick or treat.  If they meet these qualifications they get two or three candy’s.  If they don’t – in a bid not to get my house egged by the older asshole teenagers who think they are “oh so damn cool” – I give them one, and a dirty look.  Yep, I’m THAT girl.

Funny Halloween Ecard: May a flaming bag of feces not appear in your doorway this Mischief Night.

This year, with Simba, he will be dressed up and I bought a cute little Halloween apron that I will proudly wear while tossing candy(s) into the kids bags and buckets.  I am so excited to see what the popular costume is this year and I really hope that some get creative and I pray I don’t see the “Miley Cyrus” foam finger costume because I may not be able to control my annoyance. 

Here's to Miley Cyrus for somehow making all Halloween costumes prior to 2013 look shockingly unslutty.

When little Koko Bean comes, he or she will get dressed up every year – and from the time they are old enough to do so – they will Trick or Treat.  I will take pictures and I will do everything in my power to make this a fun, exciting time for them – because other than being a little devil, I don’t remember much about my past and that seems sad to me.

Truly Terrifying Jack O' Lantern: Pregnant. not so scary for me, but not yet true




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