For the past few years I have constantly thought about what it would be like to go back in time and re-do high school. I mean, I loved my high school years. Sure there were some bad times – my first boyfriend cheated on me with a very rude, sometimes hostile violent woman and she made a few months of my life miserable – especially when he dumped me for her. However, I had some amazing times as well – great classes, teachers, friends and the drama club which was like a small family.
I miss the ease of those days. Where waking up and figuring out what to wear was my biggest worry. I thought to myself how great it would be to go back and re-live those days, change some things and redo many of the other things I loved so much.
Last night, I stepped back into time and went to my high school, creeping through the hallways, looking at my grad photo, swimming in memories that forced me to gasp. The hallways look the same; the smell of the school is exactly the same. Then I woke out of my haze and listened for the sounds of laughter and chatter…instead I heard “fuck you guy, you’re dead!” Yo man she’s nasty, stay away from that biatch.
Then I saw how rude and rough and cruel the kids were to each other and I determined no, maybe I don’t want to go to high school in this day and age. I want to go back to high school circa 1995-2000. As I looked around at the kids,(because regardless of what they think, that is what they are) I realized my child will be involved in this insanity, this cruel, heartless culture where teenagers are allowed to run free and say what they want when they want and no one stops them. There was teachers in the foyer as kids were swearing and running and being an over bearing “presence” to the families that were there to see a Holiday concert/event. I was disturbed.
I was even more disturbed when during the Holiday event the film students feature a short film they created of a girlfriend who sees her boyfriend hugging another female and she stabs him in the eye with scissors and then walks away. The students were cheering at this point – the parents (and myself cause I was there as an aunt) looked at each other like … uhhhh this is not okay.
It’s disappointing and not saying much for tomorrows future stars if this behavior is not only tolerated, but praised. I worry so much more now about my friends children and my future child(ren). I am sure my parents had the same fear for my brother and me, but it just seems to get worse and worse every generation. Do I need to move a private island – wrap my child in a bubble to keep them safe? All I know is that there is not a chance in HELL that my child will go to this high school or any high school – where such blatant violence and disrespect is celebrated and enjoyed.