I’ll tell you my secret – I am jealous

It’s true. 

I hate jealousy – it rears its ugly had so often and destroys people and relationships.  However, I can’t help but let the green-eyed jealousy monster take over whenever I hear about friends and their children visiting the mall Santa, or decorating the tree with their little ones. 

I have a few friends who are pregnant and they have their ultrasound photos posted on Facebook for everyone to see – and I love to see it, don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for my friends, they are 100% deserving of this special time, but I am jealous.         I want to stand in line and wait for Santa, I want to bake cookies with a little one making a mess and I really want to see the smiles on a child’s face when they realize Santa has come.  All this fun that my friends are having, I’m happy for them, but inside it hits me like a Mac truck me every time I hear or read about it. 

I’m a horrible person, I know.  Maybe not horrible, but foolish.  My time will come right?  When Koko is ready to be mine, he or she will here to love me and me them, and I will be the lucky one.  Sure, I know!  But I feel like my patience is wearing thin. 

Love

Nicole

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3 thoughts on “I’ll tell you my secret – I am jealous

  1. You are not a horrible person – an impatient person yes, but not horrible. When you really think about it, many couples making love 3 or more times a week, take a year or more to become pregnant! When the time is right, Koko Bean will come into being. Hugs!

  2. No, you are not horrible or foolish. Never feel bad about your feelings! If it hurts, it hurts. I feel the same way about other things, I guess it’s just something we have to learn to take in stride. Lots of positive energy going your way, I know it’s tough and it doesn’t help anything right now, but everything will be worth it in the (hopefully near) future. 🙂

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