This morning I woke up and immediately felt like a small bowling ball was ripping through my uterus. Is this too much information to be sharing live on a blog? Maybe it is? I was happy even through the pain because today is my Day 3 and for all of you have suffered from Fertility issues you know day 3 is an important day as it begins the cycle monitoring stage!
Today after my blood work and ultrasound I saw my fabulous Doctor and she wrote me a prescription for Clomid, a drug to help increase fertility. I will take it for the next 5 days and hopefully when I see my doctor again in a week I will have lots of teeny tiny eggs ready to be fertilized by my donor!
Sitting in the ultrasound room always makes me feel self-conscious. So many women are there with their partners or at least if they are alone they are sporting large diamonds on their ring fingers and me, I am sitting there alone playing Flappy Bird feeling insignificant.
The staff has NEVER made me feel this way, let me make that very clear – I am always made to feel like their most important patient, but internally I feel awkward. Do I wish things had been different? Sure! Of course…I’m sure most single moms would give anything to have a partner to love and support them and their child, but things weren’t different so I am making the best choices for me right now, in February of 2014.
Today I wondered if the people there thought maybe I was a lesbian. I mean statistically most women don’t choose to do this alone and since I am a smiley person I always smile warmly at the women who come in and pass me by. I am okay with this. Think what they want, lesbian, lonely single or confidant strong independent woman I could be at any point any one of these three people and since I highly doubt I’ll see them anywhere other than a waiting room, I keep smiling, chatting up nurses, doctors and patients alike. That’s who I am…right now.
I can’t wait to see how this medication makes me feel. I was warned of hot flashes, mood swings etc….thank God I will be starting this over the weekend when my actions and behaviours affect the least amount of people!
I’ll update you all on Monday…how this medication and my emotions are