Day 3, Clomid and Flappy Bird

This morning I woke up and immediately felt like a small bowling ball was ripping through my uterus.  Is this too much information to be sharing live on a blog?  Maybe it is? I was happy even through the pain because today is my Day 3 and for all of you have suffered from Fertility issues you know day 3 is an important day as it begins the cycle monitoring stage! 

Today after my blood work and ultrasound I saw my fabulous Doctor and she wrote me a prescription for Clomid, a drug to help increase fertility.  I will take it for the next 5 days and hopefully when I see my doctor again in a week I will have lots of teeny tiny eggs ready to be fertilized by my donor!  

Sitting in the ultrasound room always makes me feel self-conscious.  So many women are there with their partners or at least if they are alone they are sporting large diamonds on their ring fingers and me, I am sitting there alone playing Flappy Bird feeling insignificant.  

The staff has NEVER made me feel this way, let me make that very clear – I am always made to feel like their most important patient, but internally I feel awkward.  Do I wish things had been different?  Sure!  Of course…I’m sure most single moms would give anything to have a partner to love and support them and their child, but things weren’t different so I am making the best choices for me right now, in February of 2014.  

Today I wondered if the people there thought maybe I was a lesbian.  I mean statistically most women don’t choose to do this alone and since I am a smiley person I always smile warmly at the women who come in and pass me by.  I am okay with this.  Think what they want, lesbian, lonely single or confidant strong independent woman I could be at any point any one of these three people and since I highly doubt I’ll see them anywhere other than a waiting room, I keep smiling, chatting up nurses, doctors and patients alike.  That’s who I am…right now. 

I can’t wait to see how this medication makes me feel.  I was warned of hot flashes, mood swings etc….thank God I will be starting this over the weekend when my actions and behaviours affect the least amount of people! 

I’ll update you all on Monday…how this medication and my emotions are 

Love

Nicole

 

 

 

 

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