It has been a sad, lonely, two and a half years since I’ve “dated” anyone.
That is a very long time not to feel the intimacy only a couple can share, so I went back on Eharmony a few weeks ago “just to see” and was almost immediately contacted by a guy who seemed “real”. AKA not catfishing, and nice so we completed all the guided communication steps and went straight through to text messaging. Now I know people say you should talk on the phone to make a real connection, but unless I have something urgent to say or you are family I rarely talk on the phone anymore. This is not 1999!
Anyway, our texts were long and went on for days when FINALLY he asked me to a movie Tuesday. I was excited – so excited, but I didn’t want to share this news with everyone because I didn’t want to jinx anything. I didn’t want to have to explain if it didn’t go well. So I told two people for safety purposes (you can never be to careful) – my friend Kim and my friend Agnes.
*****Earlier that day, I was also dealing with my realtor trying to sell my father’s house and he needed some information from my brother so I left an urgent message at 5:00 telling him to call me immediately. Why am I telling you this??? Because this message caused shit to hit the fan – but I’ll get to that in a minute – just remember I left him an urgent message for him to call me back at 5:00 and I called Kim and Agnes around 7:00 about my date.
I met Eharmony (really I am not telling you his name at this point) at 7:15 at the movie theater and the movie we wanted to see that started at 7:40 was already full so we decided to see Spider-man at 8:20. We had an hour to sit and talk and conversation flowed so smoothly and really just confirmed to me that I really liked this guy. When the movie started he put his arm over my shoulder and I held my hand on his thigh. There was butterflies! I was excited! YAY! My first date is FOREVER and it was going well! I came out of the movie and decided I should check my phone to see if my brother had ever decided to call me back and to advise Kim and Agnes by text that I was alive and well.
I had 29 missed phone calls. I had 26 missed text messages. I stopped Eharmony quickly and started panicking…what had happened, was my mom okay, was Simba okay?? Did my house burn down…I didn’t leave a candle lit did I ? HOLY CRAP! My anxiety was rising in front of a guy I had just met!
I was about to walk out to call someone (at this point I hadn’t even checked who had called or texted) when my phone buzzed and it was Kim asking if I was okay and where was I? I quickly told her I was fine and at the movie with Eharmony. She told me people were at my house and that some friends and family had been looking for me all night…at first I didn’t believe her…but than I started to wonder…was the emergency me??
WHAT? My friend Dawn than called and asked where I was and if I was okay…her boyfriend Matt was on his way to Ajax to find me (but I wasn’t lost? I was now confused?)
I realized that somehow people thought me being on this date meant I had ended up meeting a crazy man who killed me and left me in a ditch…I had to say a sad goodbye to Eharmony because besides Matt, my ex-boyfriend was also on his way to find me and the idea of either of those men pulling up to me and Eharmony (who people thought had killed me) in the parking lot was too much for me to stand. Thankfully Eharmony pulled me into an amazing first kiss goodbye and I quickly jumped into my car and drove home calling Kim to find out WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED.
Here is the somewhat insane version of the story I have gotten from all the people involved:
My brother got my voice message around 7:15-7:30 and I guess thought I sounded upset or that I was crying so when he couldn’t reach me by phone or text (I was in the theater with my phone in my purse) he asked his wife Tammy to listen to it and she confirmed I sounded really upset – NOTE: I was whispering because I was at work.
Tammy somehow or for some reason called my friend April, who got a hold of my friend Nancy through Facebookwho drove to my house and then called Erin who called Kim (and I think Matt and my ex were both contacted by my sister-in-law) and every one of those people were calling, texting and driving to my house (Kim drove to the movie theater and saw my car). Now my brother had also called my mother and really – the last thing she needs is to think her poor, single daughter is lying in a ditch raped and murdered by an online predator (which FYI Eharmony is not any of those things). It wasn’t until MUCH later that Kim put together the timeline with my phone call to my brother and my phone call to her and realized my call to her was TWO HOURS after my call to him and had nothing to do with my date with Eharmony so called off the
WTF? I was so embarrassed and had to text and call people back all night until way past midnight (and we all remember how much I love phone conversations) and then pray that Eharmony wouldn’t think I was insane or incapable of having a night out and that he would want to see me again).
Thankfully after returning home and walking my dog (who had become anxious when Nancy was at my house knocking on the door) and calming him down, Eharmony texted me to say goodnight and that he had a great time. I apologized for the quick ending of the date and said goodnight figuring he would never message me again.
He did…the next day and every day since. We are seeing each other again tomorrow and I am so glad cause I like this guy…is he the “one”, who knows what that even means anymore…but is he nice and kind and sweet and have a lot of qualities I am looking for – yes! So time will tell…
And my family and friends…well they have all been disowned…
Just kidding, I love each of them so much and am overwhelmed by how much they care!