bye bye 2014 and four crappy years

My last “good” year – where nothing traumatic happened was 2009.  FIVE years ago!  This year I can’t say anything in particular happened (like a break up or death) to destroy my year, but I haven’t been on point.  I haven’t been “happy”.  I’ve just been going day by day trying to keep my cool and not die of boredom or loneliness.  It hasn’t been a good year.  Sure, I got a house and a cottage and did my back yard and closet and blah blah blah, but as much as I love my material things, they don’t make me happy. The best thing about 2014 was that Simba and I have finally gotten to a point where I think he finally gets that just because I go out – I am not “leaving him” forever.  Even when I go away, he stays with my mom and he is okay.  His anxiety isn’t bad anymore and rarely does he have accidents in the house – unless I leave him for more that 5+ hours…this is a huge change from when I first got him in 2013 and he was a wreck.  He is a great dog!

Every year around this time I think “thank you Lord this year is almost done” because I honestly have nothing, no patience or understanding left to give anyone and my temper flares quite easily.  I crawl towards my vacation time as fast as I can knowing I can do whatever I want whenever I want for two whole weeks without work to contend with.  I’ve decided that with this blog, instead of rehashing the 2014 that just wasn’t, I will tell you the top three things I am looking forward to over my vacation which begins FRIDAY!

December 19th-January 1st

1. Sleeping in

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I get it, I can sleep in whenever I want cause I have no kids, no husband whatever, stop bitching at me please…well no because I have work during the week and usually plans on the weekend that start fairly early.  I’m not even talking about sleeping in until noon – though I may consider it – I am talking about NOT setting my alarm clock (the trick will be to unset the alarm clock cause it’s set to magically go off every Monday through Friday regardless).  I want to wake up and roll over and stretch and read in bed and just lie there with Simba happy for the season.

2. Going out

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Monday – Friday I don’t go out…not that I can’t, but I work all day and the idea of going out after work seems like a lot of energy and then what – poor Simba is alone all night??? I mean he could be and I would love to see my friends more – especially the ones in Durham, but in reality I don’t and they don’t so it’s all good.  However, now that the vacation is here, I can go out for a few hours every day – see different friends, spend time with all the kiddies that I haven’t seen, play Santa with presents and maybe even finally take Simba to the damn dog park I have been meaning to visit since I moved to Ajax.  There are friends I haven’t seen in months (including my BESTIE Kris) and I need to, because after a visit with these people my spirits lift and I make it through the next few weeks fairly unscathed.  I have plans already on the 19th to see Rochelle and her family in the evening and I cannot wait to take her two kids in my arms and squish them both!

3. Christmas – DUH!

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Of course this year is going to be even worse than last years because this will be the first year I don’t celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the Sedgemount house since it sold in July, but I am still looking forward to seeing my family and having the dogs go bat shit crazy on each other and eating turkey and Milway Family stuffing and then complaining about how full I am and maybe even seeing my nieces smile (they are teenagers so perpetually miserable about life).  It won’t be the same – not even close – and I am bound to shed a tear or two (or two thousand) but it’s still Christmas and I am grateful for the family I have left and I am hoping to see my aunt and uncle who live far away and I haven’t seen in a year!  Time will tell, but regardless it will be time well spent.

2014 will hopefully end peacefully at the strike of midnight on New Years Eve, 2015 will begin and I know it’s up to me to write in this blog this time next how freaking amazing the year was…

we”ll see

Love

Nicole

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