Almost 6 months since I have shared my life with all you faithful readers :O WOW! Sorry about that. There hasn’t been much to update to be honest. But I will tell you whats happened and what I know (which is next to nothing)
On April 20th I silently celebrated my one year anniversary of being accepted into IBESR (Haitian Social Services). I did this quietly by myself and really it was just me taking a few moments of quiet to say a little prayer to my sweet little one who has no idea I exist! They say the first year is the hardest because you know a referral will not come in those 12 months (possibly not even in that second year) and honestly it wasn’t hard. It was long, it was emotional and it was frustrating knowing there are so many sweet, sweet babies who need a mother in their life and I stood no chance of being matched in those 365 days. But that day came and went like every other day – with no exciting news, no change. And for every day that comes until I am matched, I will walk with my head held high and a smile on my face because I must keep living and celebrating life as it is.
Mothers Day also came and went. I was at the cottage – because THANK GOD it’s finally Spring! I thought to myself that maybe (just maybe) this would be my last mothers day where I am only celebrated for being a mama to my dog. Even if I get a referral for a child, they won’t be home with me by next Mother’s Day but maybe I will know who they are…maybe I will be able to look at their pictures and feel that love????!!!!
I called my agency the other day for an update on my case. The bad news was of course there was no update on my file specifically – however the good news was that they have seen a lot of movement in the last 6 months for people with referrals. They are moving faster (like a snails pace could possibly be faster) through the adoption process supposedly – which is great, but that doesn’t mean much for me. It means I am still waiting. My patience is high – friends and family are not so patient – and I am thrilled knowing everyday I move closer to being connected to my child. I still feel just as strongly today as I did when I started this, that my child lives in Haiti and that they are waiting for me to be there mama!