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Unfriend Day

national_unfriend_day

Yesterday was National Unfriend Day, who knew that such a thing existed!  Why on earth would you ever want to UNFRIEND someone??  Why would you friend somebody just to turn around and unfriend them??  I get that people you have broken up with or hurt you in some way, but to have a day dedicated to clearing out your Social Media contacts sounded so strange to me.

Until Friday.  Friday the world changed again.  Like September 11th, 2001, November 13th 2015 will forever be a day where the world mourns the loss of innocence.  There was another massive terror attack in France; maybe not as extreme or as close to home as September 11th, but a part of me felt broken and sad after the awful news started its way around the media.

I am on Facebook a lot, like a lot a lot!  The first day or two was how sad everyone was and of course pictures started to surface of the Eifle Tower and people (including me) changed their profile the colours of the French flag (Red White and Blue).  Slowly on Sunday and Monday I started noticing a change.  All of a sudden a few of my “friends” started posting the most hateful, cruel messages towards Muslims, Syrians etc. I quickly posted the most loving, positive  LOGICAL messages I could find to combat the yuckiness, trying my damnedest not to scream at the haters.  It didn’t matter.  A few more people started re-posting the racist remarks and I was just done.  Coincidentally on National Unfriend Day, I unfriended 6 people on purpose.

People are allowed to be scared, I am.

People are allowed to have their own opinion and post it on their pages throughout Social Media, I do.

However, I realize no one is forced to look at it or be bombarded by it.  I felt I was.

There were a couple of people whom I didn’t delete because of my relationship with them outside of Social Media, but I know, and have known, their opinions for years and I tolerate it and voice my opinion consistently on their attitude.

It’s sad that it has come to this.  I want to so much for the world to get along and care about one another, if I was a beauty contestant peace on earth would be my mantra, but I’m not and there isn’t this peace…there is evil and horror and I want the fear and hate to stay where it should – on those few people who have created it.

It’s okay if you don’t agree with me, that’s the joy of the media, the joy of MY country – Canada…we are allowed to agree to disagree and still have respect for each other.  I hope you will still respect me!

Love Nicole

 

 

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I’m not a woman…

Today I woke up, pressing snooze as often as I could, when I finally decided to check Facebook, because procrastinating is my game every morning.  I saw a “liked” article from someone on my contact list and when I read through the article I was LIVID and angry and yet at the same time shocked, because I realized as I was lying on my bed, that I was not a woman.  I may have been born with a vagina, I may have grown into my womanly breasts by the time I was a teenager, my voice is a high octave and I wear dresses and makeup, but I’m not a woman.  Today I found out, thanks to some woman named Jill Johnson that I am in fact a man.

For reference, here is Jill’s Facebook post:

I’ve heard you say you “identify as a woman”. But I find that highly unlikely and insulting. You see, Mr. Jenner, there is more to being a woman than beautiful gowns and fake boobs. There is more to being a woman than makeup and pretty hair. This is something we mothers begin teaching our young daughters at an early age.

As a woman of nearly 50 years, I can tell you what it is truly like to be a woman. You may be able to understand or even empathize, but you are definitely NOT able to “identify”. For instance, you will never know what it is like to wake up every 28 days with searing stomach pain so bad it doubles you over, yet still trot off to work or school as though everything is fine. You will never know what it is like to have your car break down on the side of the road and when a couple of men stop to help your prayer is that their intentions are good because there is no way on earth you have the ability to physically hang let alone overpower them. You have no idea what it is like to long to have a child only to have your third miscarriage, yet still manage to be able to share in the joy of all the other young mothers in your life. You will never know what it’s like to get pregnant, gain 40 lbs (1/3 your total body weight), hurl all morning long for 4 months straight, yet still care for your other two toddlers, and not drive your husband to the brink. You will never know what it is like to give birth to a 10 lb. baby boy with absolutely no medication!!! You will never know what it is like at the age of 50 to be walking down the streets of Phoenix and popping in the Dairy Queen for a cool refreshing treat only to be gripped at that moment with your fourth hot flash of the day.

I have, in my life, met many women who have been widowed. For me to walk up to them and say I identify with them would be ludicrous. Like I said earlier, I can empathize with them, but I cannot identify myself as one of them because I don’t know what that is like – I can only imagine. And let’s not even talk about women who have worked through their double mastectomy.

No, Mr. Jenner there is more to being a woman than you could ever experience or even imagine. And lesson #1 for all true women is this – Botox injections, plastic surgeries, designer clothing, and public approval is NOT what makes a woman. A real woman is one who in spite of the stretch marks, age spots, dirt under her nails and tired eyes, and even with 1/2 plastic photoshopped supermodels as her competition, she has carried herself in such a way that her family, husband, and children, see her real beauty and find her far more valuable than rubies or diamonds and they rise up and call her blessed.

Mr. Jenner you are a privileged white male living in the U.S.A. In fact, you are so free and so privileged, you can even spend your massive amounts of money to change your outward appearance to whatever you wish. That is NOT something most woman around the globe are free to do even if they wanted. MOST women in our world don’t even have access to a high school education. So, Mr. Jenner, I find your claim to identify as “a woman” disingenuous, uneducated, and honestly – quite offensive.

Oh where do I begin…From the very first line, she angered me.  See Caitlyn Jenner LEGALLY changed her identity to Caitlyn Jenner which means addressing her as Mr Jenner is not even a legal fact…but that even the tip of my breaking point.
In my opinion the following statement is actually backwards You may be able to understand or even empathize, but you are definitely NOT able to “identify”. Caitlyn can’t understand or empathize about being a woman because she does not, nor will she ever have a period or a pregnancy or any of the other things Jill talks about in her article, but she can IDENTIFY as a woman, because identity is personal and Caitlyn identifies herself as FEMALE.
Now here are the reasons Jill says Caitlyn can’t be a woman:
1. She doesn’t wake up every 28 days with searing pain that cause you to double over – shit, I don’t either.  My cramps get bad sometimes, but I’ve never been doubled over and it certainly isn’t every 28 days – I wish!
2. Women trot off to work with this pain like everything is fine – I have never trotted – ever. I drive because the idea of trotting 25 km to work is exhausting.  And if I am ever in THAT much pain, I am fortunate enough to have a job where I have sick days – I take one. I would never act like everything was fine.
3.She will never know what it is like to have her car break down at the side of the road and pray that when some guys pull over to help that their intentions are good because there is no way to physically overpower them – My car has never broken down at the side of the road and if it does I will call CAA and stay in my car with the doors locked cause I have no desire for anyone to help me – male or female.  I pay CAA for a reason, let them do their damn job!  Also if I was Caitlyn Jenner I would be TERRIFIED right now if guys stopped to helped me because there is a much higher chance that they will be DISCRIMINATING against me and will probably hurt me because I, as Caitlyn, am living my truth and they might be hurtful jerks like you.
4. She hasn’t longed for children, suffered a miscarriage and had to sit by smiling for her friends who all get pregnant just by looking at a penis – here is the one area I may slip in as a “woman”.  I have longed for children and have had FIVE failed attempts.  I have not miscarried, but I have sat by and watched my friends have beautiful amazing kids whom I love with all my heart – and whose ass I will kick if they turn out as cruel and disillusioned as you Jill.  Also, Caitlyn has had to sit back, fully believing in her heart she was meant to be a woman, and watched her past wives, daughters and female friends all get to do whatever they want, dress how they want and interact with each other as women when really that’s all Caitlyn wanted! 
5. Caitlyn will never know what it’s like to go through labor, gain pregnancy weight, take care of toddlers and not drive her husband to the brink – Jill you sound like you have an asshole for a husband if your worry is not to drive HIM to the brink while you gain weight, deal with toddlers and vomit everywhere!  But again, I have never been pregnant, never hurled for hours and I’m single so a husband is the least  of my worries…
6. Caitlyn won’t know what it’s like to give birth to a 10 pound baby with no medication – this is insane, who chooses to do that when an epidural is so magical.  I promise you I will never know what that feels like because if God grants me the blessing of being pregnant, there will be medication – lots of glorious medication to make my life easier because there are much more important things to stress over.
7. Caitlyn won’t ever have hot flashes – Jill at 65 you won’t either – it’s not like Caitlyn waited this long so as to avoid all the shitty things about being a woman.  My mother had no hot flashes and a lot of my older woman friends didn’t either – are they really women?  Are they lying to me!!
8.Botox injections, plastic surgeries, designer clothing, and public approval is NOT what makes a woman – It doesn’t???  I think there are a lot of people in the world who are questioning their identity at this point!  Besides women fight every day for public approval – whether it be as a woman in the work force, in the home, as a mother, single, married, widowed or common law – women are always trying to do it “right”, the way society says it should be done…
9. Because Caitlyn has money and “white privilege” (a word I hate by the way) she can’t claim to be a woman, because around the world some girls don’t have access to a high school education so Caitlyn’s identity is offensive – well Jill, I find you offensive.  It is 2015 and people are finally coming out as who they genuinely feel they are.  Young people are committing suicide because of ignorant, cruel OFFENSIVE comments like yours.  Because all they want in this world is to be accepted.  As a white, some what privileged woman, I find Caitlyn Jenner inspiring, interesting, beautiful, lovely, intelligent and so much more of a human than that guy Bruce ever was!
I know a lot of you won’t agree with me on what I have said, and that is okay….but I felt so outraged by the ignorance of some I had to write – and write quickly because we as a society need to stop hating on people who are living their true selves.  Why can’t we just relax and mind our own damn business when people do something we may not like or agree with.  Hurt and hate are offensive, nothing else.
Love Nicole