Mother Nature you are being a bitch

This pretty much sums up my feelings

Last year we had Ice Storm 2013.  It knocked out the power across Toronto and other regions in and around the GTA for days, ruining Christmas for many and causing people and communities to really pull together to survive and thrive.  It was cold all the time.  The snow came and went at a moments notice.  Everyone – even the winter and snow lovers, became miserable.  Fearing winter would never end.

Pretty and ugly all at the same time!

I was on the verge of anxiety attacks every day!  I crave warmth, bathe in it, dream about it regularly and last winter was really rough.  My first winter/Christmas without my dad and the weather was really not helping! All I wanted was to feel some heat – thanks to my friend for coming to Cuba with me for my birthday so that I was able to get soak in some vitamin D!  The snow and ice and cold stayed with us through March and into April and I don’t know if anyone was sad to see it go.

Summer wasn’t all that great, no major heat waves which sucked and it rained quite a bit so I am still feeling a bit jipped!

Now its November – not even December and it is below 0 degrees and we have snow – Buffalo which is an hour and a half away has THREE FEET OF SNOW!  My contractor is stuck there because of the craziness going on.  Mother Nature is being a stupid bitch (and I hate that word, but seriously there is no other word that spews as much venom toward her than bitch!).  I remember winters where we didn’t get snow till AFTER Christmas.  Where it was cold, but not freezing.  Where we had days and weeks in between snow storms.  Now its mere hours…what the frig!?

This is gearing up to be another bad winter.  2014 isn’t out yet and it’s ending pretty crappy weather wise.  Even Simba isn’t impressed.  He has been peeing on my deck and not on the grass or patio because he wants to run back in so quickly – and he’s a damn dog!  If he can’t survive it, how am I supposed to??

Love

Nicole

I’m sick and under construction

I have had some complaints from friends and family, that I haven’t been blogging, that they have missed my exciting, thought-provoking blogs!  Okay, maybe they just said “dude you need to blog again”.  I do like to think that at times, my writing inspires people to have a conversation, to think and ponder, but to be honest with you the past couple of months have been a bit hectic and for about six weeks now I have had a cold.

I don’t have the flu, I don’t require bed rest or fluids or any special herbal remedy.  I have a stuffed nose and every once in a while my mouth goes completely, uncomfortably dry (from breathing through my mouth).  I have taken allergy pills with the thought that it was allergies (it wasn’t) and I have taken cold and sinus pills (which also didn’t work).  I went to my Doctor yesterday (after she made me wait over 40 minutes in the room) and she has written me a prescription as much as I am not keen on taking antibiotics, I am getting desperate!

The other issue I have had is that my house – that perfect house I bought that I figured needed minimal renovations – has been under construction.  Of course this past summer I had a massive deck installed with a patio area and just for the fun of it I have had my laundry room redone and a gas fire-place installed.  Why not right!?  It has been an exhausting endeavor and my house upstairs and down is a complete mess with  drywall dust which sticks to EVERYTHING. I have even bought a mop and a bucket instead of depending on my swifter wet mop cause it was doing nothing for my floors!  My frustration level is quite high with the mess my house is in.  About that perfect house – to bad it’s owner isn’t satisfied with perfection because now I have dreams and aspirations of a totally different look!  Although look at the fireplace – it’s SO pretty and takes up less space which makes me happy cause I always felt the wall jutting out was weird!

The “before” fireplace

 

The “after” photo

I also had the joy of my first holiday in my new place!  Halloween is not my favourite holiday, but it was fun to dress my house up in fall and Halloween decor!  I even carved two pumpkins and dressed up!  It wasn’t that great of an evening because it was pouring rain most of the night and I only had like 20 kids, but I am still happy with the way it went and I look forward to next year!

My “bat” pumpkin that was broken by a two year old

Pumpkins can smile right?

Simba totally loves Halloween!

I promise to try to update more on my blog. I do feel bad, I want this blog to be a success and I am creating my own failure in that journey, but I will take on the task of updating you all on other interesting “Nicole” features soon!

Love Nicole

2013 ended…2014 welcome (part 1)

 So much has happened since I last wrote that I may have to do this in two parts.  For the ending of 2013, it was all bad unfortunately.  

I am not pregnant.  My third times a charm, turned into three strikes.  I was deeply disappointed, so badly wanting some good news for the holidays.  I don’t know why I am not getting pregnant.  All the good things the doctors were saying a couple of months ago; seem futile now, unimportant and ridiculous. 

I will start fertility treatment in the spring. I need to wait. I must have surgery, a surgery I have had three times prior and not looking forward to my fourth. This was also the torturous news I had to deal with at the end of 2013.  I need to postpone the baby for a few months and I’m thinking as much as that is a sad thing to consider, it may be a good thing.  I have been stressed, at times depressed and overwhelmed with life the past few months and getting this surgery isn’t going to help that.  Once the surgery is over and I have healed (I am being optimistic it WILL heal) I will be in a better place to be pregnant.  

So that is the update on the non-pregnancy.  

On Friday December 20^th, I left work completely grateful to be done work for another year!  I was starting to look forward to our annual family Christmas Eve party.   I was craving some family time.  I went and completed all the grocery shopping that needed to be done, played with Simba and fell asleep.  The next day I had some errands to run, cleaned the house and started preparing for Julia’s 5^th birthday party the next day. 

It never happened. 

Sometime in the middle of the night, the ice storm hit and I lost power.  Most people lost power and the house was getting cold.  When I woke up I turned on my fireplace which is gas and started texting friends and family to see who was affected.  Almost everyone I knew except a scarce few.   The phone connection wasn’t great – I am assuming because of all the ice of the cell phone towers –  but I managed to get through to the most important people.  

This is when I learned how amazing my friends and family truly are.  I was getting invites left right and centre.  I was overcome with emotion, crying uncontrollably at various times throughout the day as I picked up my mom who was freezing and brought her to the warmth. 

I showered and ate at friends homes and as the hours passed slowly by, I realized that Christmas Eve and possibly Christmas Day would be cancelled.  I saw that my food I had bought a few days prior was wasted and had to be thrown out. 

By Christmas Eve, my mom, brother and I went to Harvey’s for a burger and chatted about how horrible this was that our first Christmas without my dad was going to be postponed.  My mother and I completed the night by going to the movie theater and watching the Hunger Games sequel.  

On Christmas day I awoke to a still dark house, thankfully Simba was satisfied with his dry dog food and freezing cold water.  I tried.  My mother and I spent the night at her sister’s house, something I have never done for Christmas my entire 32 years, but I was grateful for a warm meal, TV to watch and people to talk with.  

By Boxing Day, I sent my mom home, her power having come back days before but she stayed with me because she felt bad that I was alone.  I went to my girlfriend’s house to shower and chat and she LOVES Simba so I thought it would be nice to get out for a while.  

Around 4:30 on the 26^th, my phone started buzzing.  My neighbors were calling and texting…MY POWER WAS BACK!  I left Simba with Erin and drove home to assess the mess and clean out the rest of the fridge and freezer.  I threw on laundry, called my mom and brother and began to make plans.  After five and a half days, the nightmare was over.  

I was relieved. 

I was satisfied. 

I was grateful. 

I was changed. 

Something I didn’t mention was that on Christmas Eve, I had a full on melt down while my mom was gone to feed her cat.  I cried continuously for hours, not knowing or caring how to stop.  I was miserable, cold, hungry and missing my dad so much I was gasping for breath.  I never said anything to anyone because I knew that I needed to deal with this all on my own.  I needed to cry and scream and lose my mind.  And I did.  I lost something that day, but what I lost was some of the hurt and anger that had built up for months. 

By Christmas Day, I was different, more patient and understanding.  I assume I will cry again, off and on for a long while, but I feel better.  I feel stronger than I have felt in months.  

Thank you Lord! 

Stay tuned for my post-#icestorm2013 holidays. 

Love

Nicole